31 Paul

New York's massive population ironically leads to a great deal of loneliness. The City so teems with bodies that all of them close off their souls in an attempt to preserve a modicum of privacy.

Yet that wasn't my experience in New York.

My brother Paul is almost six years younger than me. Growing up, many of my activities (baseball, mowing, acting, Kamiakin, swing dancing, and Bethel) were shared jointly with brother Zach, just two-and-a-half years my junior, but Paul was too young to participate. Paul eventually did all those things (well, except for baseball and mowing), but many of them happened after I left for college.

In 2003, after I graduated from college and Paul "graduated" from high school, I spent the summer at home and began to see Paul as a peer. I played a lot of ultimate frisbee with Paul and his friends and realized that Paul had been maturing and had chosen his friends very wisely.

I moved to D.C. and had some less than ideal roommate situations. Paul moved to L.A. and had the same. Our friendship grew and I remember that at Christmas '04, Paul speculated that I'd make a pretty good roommate for him and that he'd be a good one for me. He was right.

After being admitted to Columbia, I missed the deadline to secure university housing. God used my laziness for his good purpose. As I started my classes in August, Paul was hired to write for Engadget. While he could work from anywhere, most of the blog's editors lived in NYC. So, in October he flew across the country and we moved into a one-bedroom in Harlem.

Our New York experience centered on our great little community of believers, City Church. God had independently introduced us to Sovereign Grace Ministries, Paul in Pasadena and me in Fairfax, VA. Paul and I rode that D train to the F train come hell or high-water--talking theology, politics, music, family, and everything else important.

We also shared a drug-dealing super, two amazingly bad TimeWarner internet connections, LOST (till Paul quit), an Arctic Monkeys concert, six weeks without hot water, and so much more.

When Mrs. Miller came into my life, Paul was longsuffering. Of course he was very happy that I had found the right woman, but I devoted so much time to courting to my Love that, as the photo at right suggests, Paul sometimes felt squeezed.

But that all changed after the wedding. Paul became the most frequent guest at our dinner table. The conversations between the three of us were wonderful and God-glorifying. The Three Millers were a force, strengthened by our numbers.

Paul, in all my prayers for you, I always pray with joy because of your partnership in the Gospel from the first day until now. You are the top thing I will miss about New York.

Cute baby picture alert

See them over at my sister's blog.

A chapter completed

Mr. Miller was graduated from Columbia Law School this afternoon. I'm so proud of him. Law school is one of the most intense academic experiences in the modern world, and he completed it with skill and excellence, as unto the Lord.

Paul, E and I were in the crowd to cheer as the reader said his name. Our little triptych of support was rather fitting. Paul was Mr. Miller's roommate for the first half of his law school career, and I was the roomie for the second half. Evangeline, on the other hand, is a bit of Mr. Miller's future. But we're glad she overlaps with this chapter in his life too!

Ev's last visit

At Yankee stadium to see the Mariners. They lost. Don't ask.



At the Cloisters. I'd been there with Mr. Miller already, but it was much prettier in the Spring, especially the herb gardens.









At a watering hole in Washington Square Park before walking around Greenwich Village where Ev bought a killer little hat from a street vendor.

The play-by-play

The trip to Arizona was memorable and sweet. And it passed far to quickly.

Wednesday - Exit the airplane, feel the heat, and realize I brought the wrong wardrobe. My grinning mom greets us at the airport. Later that night, Evangeline meets Aunt HaHa (Heather), Uncle Rich, her cousins, Opa and the Lyts--all on the first day! And I get to cuddle with my newest nephew.

Cousins fresh from the oven

Thursday - More time with Aunt Ha-Ha and her boys. Evangeline meets Andrea and Megan. Megan has the glow of a soon-to-be-bride!

Friday - Breakfast with Mom at The Farmhouse. The cinnamon roll melts on my tongue. We pick up Aunt Ev at the airport, swing by Carolina's for lunch, and race back to Aunt Ha-Ha and the boys. That night at a shower for the future-Mrs.-Joel-Barr, Evangeline meets many of the wonderful faces that graced my years in the local home school community.

Saturday - Heather and Mom throw killer, back-to-back baby showers for us. Hayley and Miss Tory arrive early to help. They are wearing matching shoes! Oh, and Tory has the cutest, most kissable cheeks of any baby. Ever. Friends from my old church arrive in short order to saturate us in gifts and mothering wisdom. I cry, and feel that mothering is not only doable, but a great joy. In the afternoon, friends from the home school community arrive. Three generations of many families are represented in the room because so many of my contemporaries are pregnant or bring their new babies. More gifts, wisdom and much passing around of the babies. That night, Evangeline spends some serious time with Aunt Shea (my cousin) who drove up from Tucson for the day.

Preparation

A table laid

Moms with their babies

Sunday - Steve Shank delivers an excellent exegesis of Acts 6:1-6 that engages my mind and increases my excitement to see the Good News go forward. And the worship team introduces me to this new hymn.

Monday - Ev, Ev and I drive down to spend the morning with the Haupts before racing back north for the elder Ev's job interview. Little Ev and I relax at the house until Andrea and the Haupts join us for dinner. Long walk and talk with Andrea with Ev hanging along in the Bjorn.

Tuesday - We drive Mom to work, grab breakfast nearby, and then get a tour of the new ADF headquarters. Ev meets many of the talented people who make that organization thrive. Mom works for a couple hours; then it's shopping in Scottsdale! Whoot! Dinner that night with the Haupts again, bath time for the boys, and a final long walk and talk with Dad.

"I'm cute and realize you're pointing a camera at me."

Bath head

Rich and Dad taking care of the infants

Wednesday - Heather picks us up for the Moms2Moms meeting at church where we experienced refreshing fellowship and heard convicting yet encouraging talk by Charlotte Richardson. Then it's back to Sky Harbor where we meet Uncle David for coffee before take-off. Ev sleeps the entire flight, leading the passengers near her to declare, "That's the best baby ever." We fall into Mr. Miller's arms at the subway and make it back to the burrow sometime Thursday morning.

The end.

One year

A year ago today, Mr. Miller and I were declared one in the sight of God, our families, and a host of witnesses. We've since shared twelve blissful months together.

Marriage is amazing. Mr. Miller is my best friend, my passion, my inspiration, my amusement, and my love. I can hardly believe I get to fall asleep every night next to him and talk to him for so many of my waking moments. By the grace of God, being married to him and caring for the children we have together is my life calling. How can I be so fortunate! I love him more now than I ever thought possible and suspect that this love will only continue to grow as I daily observe his relationship with the Lord, his deep devotion to the Word, his affection for his family--especially our new daughter, and his commitment to see the King of Kings glorified by every tribe and tongue.

Speaking of Evangeline, she is the highlight of our union, a miraculous manifestation of how the "two shall become one."

Treyton Michael

finally decided to leave his comfy home and join us in the real world! My sister only labored for an intense hour and a half before Treyton's adorable, chunky self popped out. He was born a day before his due date and exactly seven weeks after Evangeline.

In other good news, these cousins get to meet at the end of the month!

Super Bowl

I'm sick. Very sick. Nasal passages draining, sneezes abounding, and a fever making me feel like I'm on illicit narcotics. (Not that I'd know!)

This illness has put a crimp in our Super Bowl watching plans. Bethany, who has embraced baseball and football as a way to show her love for me, was excited to finally go a Super Bowl party for more than just the food. I guess there's always next year (when my Seahawks will be playing in the game).

All of this has reminded me of my father. A decade ago, my father's birthday fell on the same day as the Super Bowl. He fell quite ill, which would have been bad enough. But then our septic tank backed up and our front yard smelled of sewage. He went outside in the cold and unearthed the tank, while the rest of us piled into the van and drove away to watch Elway beat Favre.

I guess what I'm trying to say is, "Thanks, Dad." Just as Bethany was moved to salute her mother, these two weeks of parenting have dramatically increased my appreciation for everything my father did for me. With that said, praise be to God that, at least this year, our toilets are working fine and Evangeline didn't go to the party without me.

Mothers

Very early this morning, my mom dragged her suitcase down the narrow flight of stairs in our building and out into the crisp Brooklyn streets. Over the last eleven days, she cooked and cleaned for us, held Evangeline so I could shower occasionally, talked with us, prayed for us, and generally strewed her love all about the burrow. I miss her.

She shocked us when she bought her ticket from Phoenix to New York while I was still in labor, and traveled across the country to arrive here just hours after the birth. I'm glad she did because I don't know how I could have made it through last week without her.

One afternoon last week, as I cradled my new daughter and tried to memorize the little curves of her face, I contemplated this undertaking called motherhood. Here was a new life that needed nurturing from Mr. Miller and me for the next eighteen or twenty years. Then I looked up and saw my mom on the Internet furiously researching a baby question for me. I thought about her trip. This trip wasn't a vacation, even though she was in a famous vacation destination. Instead, she was passing the hours caring for me in the most basic ways--providing food, a clean home, and even holding me when I cried. I wasn't that different from Evangeline (aside from the fact that I can form complete sentences). So while my mom birthed me over twenty-six years ago, she's still caring for me.

It dawned on me for the first time that mothering isn't simply a season of life; it's a life-long commitment. That fact is both intimidating and exciting. How does one really contemplate much less prepare for a task that enormous in import? By prayer, yes? And by seeking the Lord's wisdom for each day, not worrying about tomorrow? Perhaps, then, by God's grace and in his providence, I may find myself some twenty-plus years from now caring for Evangeline after she gives birth to her first child, just as my mom cared for me this week.


Oma & Evangeline

Christmas Wrap-up

It appears I have a problem making timely holiday posts. Nonetheless, I still want to post a bit about our Christmas for the record and in the interest of my family, who are curious about such things.

Preparations :: While we did not have a tree this year, we did decorate the apartment a bit, burn scented candles, listen to Christmas music, and bake/consume tons of cookies (peanut butter blossoms, coconut macaroons, and gingersnaps to name a few).

Christmas Eve :: We ate chili (Keith's favorite recipe) and cornbread, carrying on my mom's tradition. Sadly, we did not plan ahead to attend a Christmas Eve service, which I hope to change in the future.

Christmas Day :: Again following my mom's lead, I served Pineapple Walnut Muffins, sausage balls, and coffee for breakfast. We actually ate it in bed while opening gifts. I suppose in the future we'll probably gather around a tree, but this was a romantic substitute, fitting for our first Christmas as a married couple. We were delighted by the gifts and notes showered upon us by our family. Even Evangeline, though still in utero, received some, including a fuzzy pink receiving blanket from Keziah, crocheted booties from Aunt Evie, a teddy bear from Aunt Annie, and a silver rattle from her Oma and Opa. [Note: my parents bought the rattle two years ago for my first baby before Mr. Miller was even in the picture. Talk about an act of faith!]



That afternoon, we strolled several miles through our neighborhood to work up an appetite while my husband, in response to a slew of questions, gave me a comprehensive history of the Republican Party of the 20th Century and the rise of the Evangelical Right. Fascinating stuff. After arriving home and to keep Mr. Miller's hunger at bay while I made the big meal, I served him hot stuffed mushrooms accompanied by a silky pinot noir by The Jibe. Then, we feasted on Herb Roasted Cornish Game Hens, Garlic Rosemary Mashed Potatoes, and broiled asparagus (see photo below). By some miracle, we both saved enough room for a slice of delectable Blackberry and Blueberry Pie smothered in vanilla bean ice cream.

Throughout the day and that evening, we were able to connect with my grandparents, my parents and Ev, and the Haupts over the phone as well as use our new webcam (thanks Dennis and Chris!) to talk to Zach, Kaley, and Keziah in Louisiana, and Mr. Miller's parents, other siblings, and some of the extended Miller clan in Washington.

It was, in short, a lovely day.

Thanksgiving re-cap

Mr. Miller and I spent the Thanksgiving holiday with my grandparents in northern Virginia. They live in a lovely colonial home just outside the beltway. As young children, my sisters and I romanticized the house because, unlike our home in Arizona, it had a stairwell and everything in the house is beautiful, from the fine china and hardwood furniture to the oriental rugs and heavy drapes. Though I still love all those things, my tastes have matured and what I really enjoy about visiting that home are the conversations with my Oma and Opa. They are a treasure-trove of fascinating stories and wisdom. Oma is an Arizona-native whose family came to the area before statehood. She grew up as the belle of the small mining community, Hayden. She met Opa at a dance at West Point, where he was a student. After winning and wedding her, he whisked her away from Arizona to travel around the United States and abroad as needed by the U.S. Army. Among other things, Opa served our country in the Vietnam and Korean Wars while Oma stayed on the home front to manage her home and raise my mom and uncle. I am so proud of both of them and their model of faithful service to their country, to their family, and to their marriage.

We shared the actual Thanksgiving meal with our dear friends the Lorences. The Lorences recently left Arizona to return to Fairfax, VA, their home of many years. My family spent quite a few holidays with them while they lived in Arizona so seeing them was a reunion of sorts! Though the location had changed, the food and conversations was excellent as always. I was struck at how quiet the house was compared to several years ago. The high-pitch chorus of children's voices that used to greet us at the front door has vanished. Instead, Nate, the oldest son, is driving and Jenna, the oldest daughter, is well into her college career. Thankfully, Brent, my special boy and the ring-bearer at our wedding, still gave me lots of hugs in spite of having graduated into big-boyhood.

Mere minutes before digging in (l to r, Justin, Marilyn, Josiah, Chloe)

Josiah, the littlest Lorence, being cute

Thank you, Lord, for this meal and these people!
(l to r, Mr. Miller, me, Nate, Josh, Brent, Justin, Jordan, Josiah, Chloe, Jenna, and friend Marie) Not pictured: Marilyn - hostess, wife, mother, friend and chef extraordinaire

Top 7 children's books

Heather asked me to list my top seven children's books. I'm a bit intimidated by this project because my experience with children's book is as a child, not a parent. My list is also limited to picture books. Cataloging my favorite children's chapter books would require another blog...or two...or five.

1. The Clown of God :: Award-winning Catholic author and illustrator Tomie dePaola tells the story of a little beggar from Sorrento, Italy who learns to juggle. His art takes him from small villages to the palaces of kings, and, ultimately, to perform for the King of Kings. This is my all-time favorite picture book. I first read it when I was nine and cried. Now I own it, re-read it periodically (with tears), and remember to offer all my gifts back to Him.

2. The Tale of Three Trees :: This traditional folktale tells the story of three trees who believe they will amount to nothing. God unfolds a special plan for each one of them as readers turn each beautifully illustrated page.

3. St. George and the Dragon :: The sumptuous illustrations are reason enough to read this book, but the epic story of the knight who saves the princess by fighting a dragon for three days is likewise compelling. No wonder it won the Caldecott.

4. Santa, Are You For Real? :: In this book, a little boy learns about the life of Saint Nicholas and the true meaning of Christmas and gift-giving. I'm skeptical about the illustrations in the new edition sold on Amazon.com. In my parent's copy, the main character wears bell-bottoms and the sisters who receive Nicholas' gifts all part their flowing hair like flower-children. If you can find their version, buy it.

5. Little Bear :: The Little Bear series follows the adventures of a cuddly protagonist. They were the first chapter books of my reading career. I poured over them with my mom, loving each word as it slid or crashed out of my mouth. My favorite story is the mermaid's tale. I thought she was immensely pretty and understood why Little Bear fell in love with her.

6. Olivia :: Who doesn't love the little pig in red? She's an amalgamation of all the adorable traits of the small children I've babysat over the years. The book, which is the first in a collection, is especially amusing to me now because she visits several famous NYC destinations, including the Metropolitan Museum of Art. Of course, she processes these experiences with the hilarity and honesty of a pre-schooler!

7(a). Noah's Ark :: This is another Caldecott winner with detailed illustrations and scant text because the pictures do such a phenomenal job of conveying the epic call God gave Noah in building, filling, and floating in the ark. Identifying all the animals kept me amused for hours.

7(b). The Illustrated Brothers Grimm Fairy Tales :: Mom picked-up this weighty volume for me at a neighbor's garage sale. Some of the stories are downright nightmarish, but they convey strong moral messages and feature princesses, my profession of choice during grade school. Arthur Rackham's illustrations are fittingly goulish and graceful.

I can't think about books without commending my mom for teaching me how to read and how to love it. At least once a week, she drove my sisters and me to the library, and we were always able to get out of preparing dinner as long as we had our noses in books. Needless to say, I read every afternoon and studiously-so around 4:30 PM. To her, I attribute the countless, colorful adventures of the imagination that marked my childhood. Thank you, Mom. You still get my vote for the best Reepacheep voice!

He's home!

Mr. Miller left on Thursday morning for a splendid three days in Phoenix, Arizona where he attended The Pursuit, happily bruised his body playing flag football, visited my family, and caught up with old friends, especially college-roommate and best man, Michael Francisco. The Lord blessed Mr. Miller's time immensely. The periodic reports I heard from him and my family members were glowing, and he returned refreshed and excited. In spite of getting scant sleep this weekend and taking the red-eye back to Brooklyn on Sunday morning, he still went straight to church and played in the worship band with joy.

Thank you Mom, Dad, Michael, Rich, Heather, Xander, and Keegan for caring for my husband!

Love in a package

My mother-in-law, Chris, sends exceptional care-packages. She designs them perfectly to delight her specific recipient.

Last weekend, we were the blessed recipients of her creativity. We saved the package as a special treat to open following completion of the MPRE on Saturday morning, hopefully the final exam in my legal career. Inside, we found beautifully coordinated gifts for our coming baby: one of Chris' handmade quilts, a vintage Beatrix Potter baby book, matching pink and green scrapbook paper, pink sleepers (cute and practical!), and money to buy a web-cam!


Mr. Miller recognized the quilt looked just like his baby blanket except that Chris used lovely feminine colors and fabrics. Chris started making these quilts for other people back in 1982, when she only had Zach and Keith, because she had been so blessed by the handmade blankets given to her babies. Each of her blankets is unique and sewn with love and prayers for the baby and its family. When laid on the floor, the blanket provides a special place for the baby to lay on her tummy, develop strong back and neck muscles, observe the great wide world or just the fabric, and play with her toys.

Most importantly, the blanket will serve as a visual prompt for me to entertain my daughter frequently with descriptions of her godly and talented grandmother who prayerfully crafted this blanket just for her.

Chris with Zach (l) and Keith (r)

The Babe comes to Brooklyn!

My younger sister visited us last weekend.

I made her at home by conquering her (and Mr. Miller) in Settlers of Catan. Our game came sans "The Robber Barron" so we subed a toy off a bottle of Spanish wine.

Saturday morning found us at the National Design Museum. A branch of the Smithsonian located in New York City, this museum provides a small but satisfying review of both old and new in the design world.

Great thoughts abounded. Like comparing Piranesi's sketches to the new Cardinals' stadium. Or how light, as manipulated by Ingo Maurer, is so much more than a mere utility. I was taken by his fractured chandelier. Ev favored his LED table.

Ev contemplates art ~

Afterwards, we walked through Central Park, shopped in SoHo, and met Mr. Miller for "La Vie En Rose" at The Angelika.

Shopping at uniqlo, a Japanese-version of the GAP

On Sunday, Ev departed with a full bag of new fashion treasures, which is only appropriate given a weekend in NYC. She left behind many wonderful memories.

Pushing the stroller

Maybe it's just me. But Keegan looked so cute pushing his stroller around the fountain in the Sculpture Garden.

Reunion Highlights

• Conversations over meals.
• Losing at Hearts.
• Laughing with Oma so hard it hurt.
• Riding the very shady Chinatown bus between NYC and DC, and the mysterious stops it made in route.
• Savoring chocolate cherry cake in a dining room packed with dessert-lovers.
• Assisting with potty-training, or, trying to convince Xander to focus on the task at hand rather than re-enacting an airplane.
• Making Keegan smile.
• Cooking for my family.
• Swapping pregnancy stories with three generations of mothers.
• Falling asleep at night talking to Ev.

Reunion Images

We visited the Air and Space Museum. It made the same impression on me as it did twenty years ago: barely interesting. But Xander loved it, which made the trip more than worthwhile.

We lunched at one of my old DC haunts: the Sculpture Garden.

We finished the day at the Museum of Natural History where we observed that all kinds of mommies carry their babies on their backs.

And, finally, the traditional group shots in front of Oma and Opa's home.